How to Create more Peace and Calm in your Life
Katherine Skelly 
Are you craving more inner peace and calm instead of the busyness we usually demand of ourselves? Here you will learn about how to create that.
How to Create more Peace and Calm in your Life
Hands up who would like more peace and calm in their life? *raises both hands* Me please!
For the last few weeks (months?), I have been working on making this a priority and making conscious decisions and taking action with THIS in mind. So in this month’s blog post, I want to share with you:
Why I decided to prioritise more peace and calm
What this looked like and involved (it was not as easy as it sounds!)
The results of my little experiment
SPOILER ALERT: I will be continuing this experiment long term…
Why I made PEACE and CALM a PRIORITY…
After having many in depth conversations with other busy female entrepreneurs, career women who are dreaming of starting their businesses to escape the hamster wheel and yes, myself (hello inner critic, dialogue and self talk). I came to the realisation that we are in fact our own worst enemies.
I don’t know about you, but switching off completely from everything I have to do, should do, and want to do is hard!
And this does not bring me the peace and calm I crave when working, building my business or enjoying my weekends, which for the last 5 months I have been ‘working’ on too.
Yep, I LOVE learning from courses, reading non-fiction books to learn, listening to podcasts, growing my business,...You name it and I am up for learning it. Sound familiar?
This is all fantastic at first and the surge in productivity, happiness and fulfillment is huge, but the problem is it is NOT sustainable. You will start to run out of energy, you will be running on empty after a while, your productivity levels and success will actually plummet to lower than before, and as I explained in my previous posts this habit can really start to damage your body.
But I’m doing what I love! Yes, but what you love are also mentally taxing processes for the brain that need quite a lot of energy and time to recover from.
Even though I already knew this as a psychologist and neuroscientist I still kept doing it because it was temporary (this time), but there have been other times in the past where I just kept going, pushed through and suffered a lot more.
So despite being really happy at first, a few months in I started to notice the effects of not having this calm and peace lifestyle that I craved so much…I was exhausted, I was forgetting things or taking longer to think of them (even names I knew well) and generally just felt this tension in my body that I would have preferred not to have.
I just wanted to get everything done, so I could rest or stop thinking, but you know what the problem with that is, right? There is always something else, so it is never ending unless you end it yourself. And that my friend is the key to creating inner peace and calm.
All the tabs open in my brain like on a computer screen were eating up my peace and calm. Even if I wasn’t doing anything, I felt like I was because my brain was actively thinking about all the things on my to do lists. The lists kept piling up, the notebooks and planners had no space left and neither did I. So I took action and made some big and tough decisions…
How to stop being busy and create more peace and calm in your life
Ok let’s get straight to it because I know you have more important things to do, but I want you to have this inner peace and calm too.
1. Do a brain dump:
This means get a piece of paper or notebook and write down absolutely everything that is taking up space in your head right down to the last detail like doing the laundry. Include any past issues you are thinking of dealing with, future projects you want to start. Whatever is on your mind. Neuroscience has shown this is one of the most powerful tools you can use to create more inner peace and calm.
2. Organise by importance:
Is this really necessary NOW? If not, put it in a note somewhere in folder for later. I have a folder in notes on my phone for this and just write stuff in there and forget about it. Most of the time, these ideas to do not need to be acted on.
If it is important, does it need to be done today or when? Write it in your planner or calendar.
Be honest with yourself. Do you really need to do that course now? Nowadays most courses have lifetime access, so you can come back to it when it is more aligned. A new business idea? Put it in that folder and focus on the current one!
P.S doing this in your home is also very helpful! Hello, Marie Kondo
3. Set boundaries (and stick to them)
I used to respond to messages almost 24/7 and now that has changed to 30 minutes in the morning before I start my daily tasks. I no longer reply on weekends or evenings. Zero inbox is nice, but reprogramming your nervous system for peace and calm by not checking is even nicer!
I stopped checking my phone during the day and set specific times to engage and reply to friends or family. If you check your phone, your brain will leave flow/creator mode and it could take 20 minutes or more to get back into this state, so not only will you be more stressed and busy, you will also be less productive if this habit continues. As female who prides herself on productivity, I am sure you don’t want to be wasting so much time getting back into a productive state, right? Me neither.
Be selective about who or how you spend your time. People pleasing is the opposite of a calm and peaceful life. We are all different, so if you need time alone to recharge, communicate that and say no to events or gatherings that do not serve you right now, or you will pay for it later. That includes online events or free masterclasses where you might learn something new. Say no to FOMO, and yes to JOMO (joy of missing out).
4. Take time off
Even if it is just one full day, take it. Do whatever you want that is not work related or learning. For me that means, yoga, going for long walks (when it is not too hot - summer is here!), chilling out with Nancy and a good Netflix series (Bridgerton omg!). I also want to incorporate more fiction reading and forgetting about the world, any book recommendations are welcome.
It will be hard at first and your brain and body may want to do things because this is what it thinks is safe for you.
Train it gradually to be okay doing nothing, and that nothing bad will happen because you took an evening or a day off.
Reducing the conflict in your body between what you actually want (peace and calm) and what your nervous system things you need (busyness). This will create the inner peace, calm and space to recharge ready for your productive working days with set boundaries that protect your space and mind then too.
The Results…
I no longer feel anxious, angry or resentful that I ‘have to do’ all these things on a weekend because I don’t do them!
I have created personalised systems that are set up for when these tasks will be done and who will do them (yes, ask for help), so my nervous system feels calm knowing they will happen.
I am not ‘busy’ all the time because I have dedicated certain tasks to specific days/weeks. One day may be just for coaching clients, another for content creation. This also creates more calm, peace and organisation for your brain to focus and use less energy than multi-tasking and switching all day.
I gave up the responsibility and badge of honour for being the one in charge of, well, everything. If the kitchen didn’t get cleaned, I waited until the person responsible did it, and it worked eventually…
I asked for and received help with things other people could do besides me because I decided I did not want to show up anymore if I couldn’t have the peace and calm in my life that I wanted as well as helping my clients.
I found things that created more fun and were not at home (because when you work from home, everything can feel like work and the environment literally tells your brain that). Go out for dinner, try a new restaurant, meet a friend for coffee, join a book club…
Most importantly, I enjoy all my days more even when I am working, I don’t burn out or feel that tension, I appreciate the present moment more and I actually get more done now with more success/productivity than before (and that is the hardest thing to understand until you do this experiment for yourself and see the results).
Are you ready to create more peace and calm in your life?
Start by doing that brain dump mentioned earlier and download my free guide to help you get some ideas of how you improve your lifestyle and reprogram your nervous system whilst making the switch to have more inner peace and calm.
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