How to be happy
Katherine Skelly 
The TRUTH about how to be happy that no one is telling you…and how this causes stress and burnout in your life.
How to Be Happy
You are probably aware by now that we have been taught to link “happiness” to achievement, money, working hard, success, or getting good grades at school and when one of those is achieved our brains release the ‘happy neurotransmitter’ dopamine, and voilá we are happy, or are we?
As in my previous blog post, I showed you how doing less and having a better work-life balance can actually lead to better results and increased productivity.
This time you are going to learn:
> What happiness REALLY is and how you can get it every day for FREE
> How to break the dopamine hit cycle and actually enjoy your life instead
So let’s get started…
What happiness REALLY is and how you can get it every day for FREE:
Happiness can look different for everyone, we are all unique, but what we all have in common is a system in our brains that is actually stopping us from being really fulfilled and having what we so desire deep down. The neurochemical dopamine that the brain releases when we ‘achieve’ something teaches it to repeat this action so it can get more, so what do we do? Yep, work, work, work, work like Rhianna sings.
THIS is why we keep pushing ourselves to the point of exhaustion and burnout to finish a task, write one last email because by accomplishing these achievements the brain gets its next dopamine hit and we get that good feeling again. Just like when we earn more money, working even harder or impressing our boss with amazing results, but you know as well as I do that this is not real happiness because it doesn’t last.
Real happiness, joy or fulfillment comes from within, and yes, having enough money helps, but that is not the only factor nor is happiness dependent on this. There are millions of people around the world who could be considered poor by well developed countries and have actually scored higher on happiness scales than billionaires. After living in Costa Rica for 4 years, which has been constantly ranked by psychological research as the happiest country in the world, I would completely agree with this.
I’m not going to lie to you. When I lived in Costa Rica, I remember being very happy even though I made very little money and worked a lot of hours! I am sure there were days that sucked, but after moving to Spain, I have really noticed the difference in the way the two populations think and the contrast is HUGE. I’ve been diving into this more recently with my coach and trying to understand what was different and how this has affected me.
Let me know if you would to know more about this and my story. I feel like this blog post is already going to be a 2 or 3 parter!
TRUTH BOMB TIME!
Money doesn’t make you happy.
Even research by Princeton Nobel Prize Laureates has shown that feeling happier is correlated with money until around $75000 income and after that it plateaus.
So why are we all working ourselves to the point of burnout, stress, overwhelm and chronic fatigue instead of living our best lives whilst we grow our wealth?
Here’s what that looks like because a visual is great for making your brain SEE what is actually happening and understanding (remember it needs meaning for the information to matter)
What makes us fulfilled as individuals will look different for all of us, so take a moment to think about this question for yourself.
Coaching Question: What makes you feel at peace and calm that doesn’t cost anything?
Personally, I love a good walk in nature(in nature is best without any tech, I have been craving green areas so much recently!) because living in a big noisy city can take it’s toll.
How to break the dopamine hit cycle and actually enjoy your life instead
For years, I pushed myself to achieve more, do better, save more, wear expensive clothes, buy a property… all fuelled by an external sense of achievement that does not lead to long-term feelings of fulfillment.
The truth is joy, happiness and fulfillment comes from within not your bank account. Even podcasts with billionaires will tell you that nothing changes just because of your bank account. Nothing will change if you are basing your success and joy on achievement.
After even more years of studying this phenomenon, and seeing how it shows up in my clients, friends, and family, I can tell you that it is not an easy to break, but it IS possible.
All of these unhealthy habits that are driving the cycle, limiting beliefs that are fuelling you to keep going, procrastinate, avoid the conversations you need to have are what is REALLY causing you to stay unfulfilled in your life or experience more joy.
Of course, money can buy many things, investments and even more time for yourself, but healing yourself and doing the inner work FIRST to find peace, joy, happiness and fulfillment WHILST you grow your wealth and create your future is what will make the real difference in your life for you to be happy now.
Whether it results in doing less, buying less, working less, or eating less. All the limiting beliefs causing you to feel exhausted, tired and stressed can be gone.
Or you can struggle to grow your wealth, family, business and then realise when you have ‘made it’ that you are actually still not fulfilled. This phenomenon has been reported by so many already wealthy entrepreneurs, don’t let it happen to you too.
The key to creating true happiness and fulfillment is to BE YOUR FUTURESELF NOW and to do that require deep rewiring of the brain and subconscious to rewire all the limiting beliefs and thoughts we discussed already.
And full disclosure, this is not a one and done process, it will take time and you will need to do this continually or at intervals throughout your journey (even Oprah has coaches!) as things come up and you want to rewire what doesn’t work for you because it is also really easy to slip back into old patterns especially when we are living in a world that promotes the opposite of what makes us happiness.
But I know it’s possible for you, I’ve seen it happen so many times and experienced it myself to make quantum leaps in life and business.
Here are 3 Coaching Questions for you to journal or think about that can help you identify how to bring more fulfillment and joy into your life NOW.
What has your futureself given up so they can have more inner peace?
What season of my life am I in at the moment?
This means what is important to you at this moment? - Family, business growth, health… I recommend picking 1-3, but with ONE main focus area. When we just pick ONE the results are literally 10 times bigger and faster than if you pick all 3 and divide up your energy. It’s okay that they change every quarter, year… whatever works for you. You are the creator of your life and get to decide this no one else.
Last one…
What are the activities that bring me joy and or inner peace?
Try to incorporate 1-3 of these into your current day, week, or month.
For me, it’s meditating, yoga, gratitude, journaling and just walking for 40 minutes a day has so many physical and mental health benefits.
By the way...
If we’re not friends on IG or Facebook drop me a DM and say hi @imkatherineskelly
DM “TOOLS”on IG or Facebook if you want to get my free workbook to help you dive more into some tool backed by neuroscience research that you can start implementing to create more peace and joy in your life.
See you next time for more brain hacking and rewiring for a more peaceful and joyful life!